Krill, Numinous Krill

Medical Science Worksheet I

2007-05-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

It has recently been brought to my attention that the term "food poisoning" is technically limited to foodborne unpleasantness caused by toxins, as for example the toxin produced by the cholera bacterium (Vibrio cholerae), whereas viruses, even if transmitted through the same food and having the same effects, don't count as food poisoning because there is no specific "poison:" the effects of the virus are caused by the immune system's attempt to remove the virus, and not by anything the virus makes per se.

Based on the above, classify the following scenarios into "food poisoning," "not food poisoning," or "either / don't know" by labeling each with a Y, N, or ?, respectively.

___ 1. Jessica Guilford goes to Jimmy John's Sandwich Shop¹ and subsequently has an excruciating day and a half sitting on the toilet because some dumbfuck who works there (and possibly shouldn't even have come in to work that day, if he'd been sick that recently) doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom and transfered norovirus to her roast beef sandwich.

___ 2. Kindly old Mrs. Schmidt down the street serves her husband a bowl of chicken noodle soup, to which she has added enough warfarin (rat poison) to drop a small horse.

___ 3. A server in a restaurant sneezes on your pizza as she brings it to your table. You never experience any symptoms or find out about the sneeze.

___ 4. A KGB agent spritzes a solution of Polonium-210 into the air in a restaurant where food is being served.

___ 5. A relief aid worker in one of those countries with all the problems gives a glass of water to a small child, which water turns out to contain cholera bacteria and poliovirus.

___ 6. As with #1, except that Ms. Guilford gets E. coli and lands in the hospital for two weeks and eventually has to have a kidney transfusion, which she can't afford because she's bankrupt from the initial hospital stay, and, sadly, she dies mere weeks later.

___ 7. You eat strawberries grown in Mexico which are tainted with Hepatitis A and become ill.

___ 8. You eat strawberries grown downwind of a coal-burning power plant and develop heavy-metal poisoning.

___ 9. You eat strawberries grown in an idyllic organic utopia, but you eat them at a picnic table which is downwind of a coal-burning power plant and develop heavy metal poisoning.

___ 10. You eat a hamburger, made from beef that came from a herd of cows, 15% of which test positive for mad cow disease. 50 years later, you develop Creutzfeld-Jakob disease.

¹(I'm pretty sure.)

Answers in comments.

Future of the United States Pop Quiz IV

2007-05-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

1. The first planet outside the Solar System found to have detectable liquid water on its surface, discovered in 2009, also had what other unexpected quality?

a. Its atmosphere contained approximately 20% oxygen.
b. Its atmosphere contained approximately 20% chlorine.
c. It was also the source of radio waves which are thought to be a signal from an alien civilization.
d. It was orbiting a type-O (blue giant) star.

2. The sport of boxing was officially made illegal in the United States in what year?

a. 2011
b. 2025
c. 2030
d. 2074

3. Which relatively common pop-cultural item from 2007 will be regarded by your children as soon as 2018 not only as lame and unfashionable, but as encapsulating everything that was wrong with the first decade of the 21st century?

a. "Jesus fish" (bumper decal)
b. sport-utility vehicles
c. The Secret (book by Rhonda Byrne)
d. blogs

4. What turns out to have been causing men's sperm counts to decline around the world for the last several decades?

a. airborne mercury from industry, coal-burning, etc.
b. iodized salt
c. changes in the magnetic field of the Earth
d. phthalate esters (plasticizers)

5. Which former childhood disease has seen a 5000% increase in incidence in the U.S., as well as the emergence of antibiotic-resistant forms, between the years 1980 and 2050, and what is the one factor most responsible for its return?

a. cholera; backlash against water chlorination due to media alarmism about chlorinated hydrocarbon residues in drinking water
b. syphilis; decline in safe-sex education and practices due to increased Evangelical control of U.S. government from about 1978 to 2028
c. pertussis (whooping cough); backlash against vaccination due to media alarmism about alleged links between vaccination and autism
d. anthrax; repeated releases of weaponized, genetically-engineered bacteria by a former Pentagon scientist with Aryan Nation sympathies between 2015 and 2017.

6. Which of the following is not thought or known to be extinct by 2045?

a. Siberian tiger (Panthera tigris altaica)
b. Polar bear (Ursus maritimus)
c. Giant panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca)
d. Blue whale (Balaenoptera musculus)

7. The Rapture (return of Jesus Christ to take the true believers into Heaven), as predicted by Evangelical Christians, occured on:

a. July 16, 2007
b. March 7, 2045
c. July 3, 2061
d. the Rapture has not yet occurred as of 31 Dec 2099.

8. The major breakthrough in production of renewable energy was ______, and it occurred in ____.

a. the invention of solar panels which were 40-45% efficient in converting solar energy to electrical energy; 2007
b. the invention of "Hydrolox" (solid-phase, low-flammability storage medium for hydrogen gas); 2009
c. the invention of caralamide, a catalyst for decomposing water to hydrogen and oxygen; 2017
d. the creation of the first self-replicating wind power plant; 2059

9. Which of the following mythical creatures was created in 2061 by Dr. Govinda Gopalakrishnan through genetic engineering?

a. Green dragon (Varanus technetius chlorophthalamus)
b. Unicorn (Equus monoceros)
c. Manticore (Chimera vox)
d. Hydra (Lernaea polycephalis)

10. What is the name of the federal agency, founded in 2015, which is responsible for approving the contents of any and all postings on the internet before they may be accessed by other users?

a. National Internet Decency Administration (NIDA)
b. United States Internet Commission (USIC)
c. Internet and Media Entertainment Enforcement Board (IMEEB)
d. Small Media Access Regulatory Agency (SMARA)

Answers are located in comments.

Psychology Pop Quiz I

2007-01-07T19:48:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by Stan for one of those blog memes that people pass around. I'm not a big fan of these, and in fact consider them only a slight improvement on the lame questionnaires people e-mail one another ("What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?" "What are your pets' names?" "Do you prefer silver or gold?"), which I have never responded to either, but since it's Stan, I'll go ahead.

However, in the interest of preserving deniability, and making a KNK post out of this (and hasn't it been a long time? Sorry about that.), I'm going to tell you seven things you may not know about me, of which five are true. The pop-quiz aspect of the post is obviously that you are to identify which of the seven are true and which are false. Except that I probably won't ever tell you which is which.

A) I have both spoken in tongues and cast out demons.

B) I'm kind of a snob about cheese.

C) I'm really a man.

D) My childhood home was turned into a meth lab, bought by the neighbors, and then demolished.

E) I voted for George H. W. Bush in 1992.

F) I've spent over $700 on houseplants and houseplant-related materials (lights, pots, soil) since August.

G) I'm still technically a virgin.

Meteorology Pop Quiz I

2006-07-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

In which hemisphere (Northern or Southern) was this hurricane, and how can you tell?

Answer is in the comments.

Sociology Project III / Political Science Project I

2006-07-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

Estimate the percentage of Americans responding "yes" to the following question:

Do you trust yourself, and the United States Government, both enough that you are certain that you will never find yourself morally compelled to commit an act which would be defined as "treason" or "terrorism" by the government, or agents thereof? (This excludes acts which are not prosecuted: i.e. if your someone who works at the Post Office gets upset with you and calls you a terrorist, but no charges are ever brought, this incident would not count for purposes of the question. "Yes" is the law-abiding answer.)

Now estimate the percentage of each of the following groups in your community who would answer "yes:"

1. Catholic women between 25 and 40 years of age
2. African-American men age 40 to 65
3. Women who identify their religious preference as Wiccan
4. All gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered people
5. Hispanic women under the age of 25
6. All Native Americans
7. White male Protestants under the age of 25
8. Whites who identify themselves as "very liberal" or "somewhat liberal"
9. All persons who identify their religious preference as Muslim
10. All persons who identify as atheist or agnostic

Next, perform the survey by telephone. Record:

the respondent's age range (under 25, 25-40, 40-65, over 65),
gender (including whether or not the respondent has always been legally recognized as his/r current legal gender),
religious affiliation,
ethnicity as reported on U.S. census data,
sexual orientation (straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual),
and political leaning (very liberal, somewhat liberal, middle-of-the-road, somewhat conservative, very conservative, libertarian, other/don't know)

These demographic subdivisions should be recorded before asking the question, to avoid attempts by prejudiced persons from answering falsely in order to make other groups look bad.

Ideally, you should have about 400 responses for a meaningful result; extra credit will be provided for additional responses at a rate of one percentage point for each additional 50 responses. You must be able to document all responses (phone numbers called, dates and times of the calls, recordings of the calls, or some similar method of proving that you did make the calls as recorded and got the responses you report) if asked to do so; failure to comply will result in a failing grade.

(You may also conduct the surveys by mail, and present the completed surveys as evidence, if you like, though be aware that self-selection may make your results invalid. Also, mailed surveys may not be enough to meet the 400-response requirement, so be sure to allow enough time to perform phone surveys if this becomes necessary. If you end up doing both kinds, report the method of response along with your other data.)

Write an analysis, after the compilation of all data, which summarizes trends across different demographics. Which groups see themselves as most likely to be in compliance with future U.S. governments? Did any respondents volunteer any comments which might explain differences between groups? How closely did your predictions match the actual results? What explains the differences between prediction and actual data, if any differences are significant?

Finally, write a three-page personal essay in which you answer the question yourself and explain your response.

Future of the United States Pop Quiz III

2006-06-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

1. Increasing climatic changes due to global warming will lead to a paradoxical cooldown in _____________ by the year 2040.

a. The Western Great Lakes (MI, OH, IN, WI)
b. The Upper Mississippi Valley (ND, MN, IA, WI)
c. The Pacific Northwest (WA, ID, OR, CA)
d. The Southeast (FL, GA, SC, AL, TN)

2. What region of the country will be decimated in the year 2032 by a new and specifically North American strain of West Nile virus?

a. The Desert Southwest (CA, AZ, NV, NM)
b. The Upper Mississippi Valley (ND, MN, IA, WI)
c. The Pacific Northwest (WA, ID, OR, CA)
d. The Southeast (FL, GA, SC, AL, TN)

3. In the fashion world of the year 2019, _______________ will be the new black.

a. silver
b. bioluminescence
c. carbohydrates
d. black

4. What is the official cause of death on Madonna's death certificate, in 2030?

a. asphyxiation
b. heart attack
c. extraterrestrial parasite
d. antibiotic-resistant staph infection

5. The long-anticipated Big One (earthquake) hits the San Francisco Bay Area in which year?

a. 2008
b. 2016
c. 2020
d. 2028

6. What is the male-to-female ratio of the crew on the first interstellar spaceship, and in what year is it launched?

a. 50/50; 2049
b. 67/33; 2019
c. 0/100; 2032
d. 25/75; 2078

7. What is notable about an American citizen who turns 80 in the year 2069?

a. S/he has reached retirement age.
b. S/he is eligible to receive cybernetic replacement body parts.
c. S/he has become the world's oldest living human being.
d. S/he is legally permitted to create a clone of him-/rself.

8. Which of these is nearest to the price of a barrel of crude oil in the year 2030, in 2006 dollars?

a. $95.00
b. $170.00
c. $638.00
d. $2,370.00

9. Which two states are no longer part of the U.S. as of the year 2041?

a. Hawaii and Vermont
b. Utah and Texas
c. Hawaii and Utah
d. South Dakota and Vermont

10. What genetically engineered animal escapes laboratory confinement in 2020 and becomes a common crop pest, destroying up to 30% of the corn, soybeans, and wheat grown in the U.S., and which company developed it originally?

a. The Giant Chicken (Gallus gallus megalodon); Archer Daniels Midland
b. The Betabug (Adalia hartii x betaluminius); GlaxoSmithKline
c. The Nemonsantode (Caenorhabditis monsantulus); Monsanto
d. The Cancer Mouse (Mus transgenicus carcinophorus); Genentech

My answers are located in the comments.

Religion Project III

2006-01-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

I hope that everyone had a pleasant Winter Break, and I trust that you are all ready to begin learning again. Our first project will be a religious one.

Background: Syncretism is the process by which two or more religious practices become intertwined. Generally, when two groups with competing beliefs encounter one another, they are mutually hostile, and one group is militarily successful over the other. However, this does not always mean that the religious beliefs of the defeated tribe vanish: women and children, taken as slaves and wives, may perpetuate their beliefs (though obviously these beliefs will have to change somewhat) even in captivity, and from time to time these beliefs and practices will appeal to the victorious group and become gradually incorporated into the victors' religion. There is some evidence, to name but one example, that Judaism shaped and was shaped by the religious practices of the Canaanites (who were conquered by the Israelites) and Babylonians (who conquered the Israelites).

Goals and Methods: You will be divided into groups of three or four students each, and I will select a combination of two or three religions for each group at random, which combination is written at the bottom of this page. Your groups will then be responsible for creating a syncretistic religion around the combination of founding religions I assign. You may wish to divide up the responsibility for different aspects of the resulting belief system among the different members of your group: for example, one member might focus on specific beliefs (how many deities? what are their names, relationships to one another, and responsibilities? What is the religion's creation myth?), one on day-to-day rituals and practices (special holidays and observances, particular beliefs relating to moral behavior, rituals and their symbolism), one on objects relating to the belief system (for example: scriptures, temples or places of worship, iconic objects or idols, locations of particular significance, etc.), and one on continuity, which is to say, making the contributions of the other members fit into a coherent whole. The last member, the one responsible for the continuity, will also be preparing the final report and presenting it to the class, along with whatever other materials (models, scriptures, songs, etc.) have been prepared.

The final report should include the following:

-Name of the founder(s)
-Approximate date of the beginnings of the religion
-Name of the religion
-Brief history of the followers, their persecution, etc.
-Holy sites, if any (with models as appropriate)
-Holy scriptures, if any
-Beliefs regarding the afterlife
-Beliefs regarding sexuality (appropriate age, number of husbands/wives, marriage ceremonies, acceptable partnerings, etc.)
-Number of gods and their responsibilities, interests, abilities, etc.
-Holy days
-Unusual features (cannibalism, transvestitism, self-sacrifice, alien worship, etc.)

Your group will then be asked to answer questions from myself and the rest of the class. Your final grade will depend on your overall thoroughness, visual aids (if any), and coherence.

Your combination is: Seventh-Day Adventism + Shaktism.

If your group feels that this is not a workable combination (as is possible; these were chosen at random), you may substitute either of the following:

Cargo cults + Unitarian Universalism

Pastafarianism + Evangelical Christianity

Art Project VIII / Biology Project II

2005-11-21T08:02:00.000-08:00

you will need:

"holographic" projection equipment capable of producing a large (approx. 8 foot cube) three-dimensional image (not necessarily a real hologram)
a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scanner with associated high-memory computer
a certified MRI operator
interactive three-dimensional imaging software

WARNING: Do not attempt this project if you know or suspect you have internal metallic components of any kind (pacemaker, arterial stent, interior pins or braces of any kind, orthodontic braces, etc.), as might be left from a surgery or injury (shrapnel, bullets). Ask your dentist or primary care physician about interference from dental fillings. This is extremely important: your personal health is very much at risk. MRI machines generate very intense local magnetic fields, which can produce considerable force on magnetically susceptible objects.

1. Remove all metal or magnetically-written objects from your person and clothing. This may include, but is not limited to: clothing with metal zippers, credit cards, car keys, hotel keys or key cards, pocket change, some forms of governmental ID, pocket knives, cigarette lighters, watches, eyeglasses, belt buckles, nail clippers, paper clips, and cell phones. You may then put on a hospital gown and enter the MRI room.

2. Lie down in the MRI apparatus according to the instructions of the operator. You will need to remain relatively still for best results, so choose a position which is comfortable.

3. Lie as still as possible while your scans are being recorded.

4. Transfer the data from your scan to a three-dimensional imaging program. You may wish to use false color to make the various organs more visually distinct from one another. Feel free to separate the scans into multiple images, if desired (the tree of bronchioles in the lungs, the network of blood vessels, the digestive tract, the skeleton): this will improve viewability later.

5. Display your scan results in the projection equipment. Enter the projection and view your body close-up, from the inside. Wander around for as long as you like. You may leave the projection up as an art piece for others to wander through, if desired.

6. Answer the following questions:

a) In what ways did you find your body to be unlike the standard human body from our textbook? Are you proportioned in the same way? Are your organs in the same places?
b) Did you find evidence of birth defects, past surgeries or injuries (broken bones, e.g.)? How could you tell?
c) How did it feel to be inside the image of your body? What emotions were generated? How do you feel about it now?
d) If you elected to allow other people to walk around inside the image: is this in some way an invitation to intimacy with the viewers? Are you proud of your body? Do the images you recorded strike you as beautiful?
e) If you elected not to allow others to walk around inside the image: to what degree do you own representations of your own body? How is it different for someone to look at a false-color version of your insides than it would be for the same person to look at you, fully clothed, on the street?
f) Describe your visual impressions (what surprised you, what did it remind you of, etc.) of each of the following systems: nervous, cardiovascular, digestive, genitourinary, respiratory, musculoskeletal.
g) What parts of your body, if any, will you be giving more thought to as a result of this project? Are there any parts you will be contemplating less than previously?
h) If you have the opportunity to view the projected scan of a classmate, describe your reactions to his/r image. What was surprising? What was different from your own scan? Did the experience strike you as intimate? Could you distinguish between your body and your classmates' body solely on the basis of, for example, your respiratory systems, or are they too similar to permit distinction? If the classmate is of the opposite sex, how easily could this be determined without looking specifically at reproductive organs?

Future of the United States Pop Quiz II

2005-11-13T20:11:00.000-08:00

Write brief but complete answers for the following questions. Each question is worth 33 1/3 points.

1. Twenty-six percent of American children under two years of age have a television in their bedrooms.¹ Explain.

2. Eighty-nine percent of the Fortune top 100 companies use the Myers-Briggs personality test in employee placement and hiring.¹ Explain.

3. About seven hundred new antibacterial products have been introduced into U.S. markets in the past ten years.³ Explain.

¹ Susan Linn, Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood, p.5. The New Press, New York, 2004.

² Barbara Ehrenreich, Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream, p.32. Metropolitan Books, New York, 2005.

³ Jeanette Farrell, Invisible Allies: Microbes That Shape Our Lives, p.16. Farrar Straus Giroux, New York, 2005.

Sociology Project II / Art Project VII

2005-09-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

You will need:

a small digital video camera with a wireless connection, or an easily-hidden connection to a laptop computer
a baseball cap
a six- or twelve-pack of cheap beer
needle and thread
chewing tobacco
high-quality photographic paper (optional)

1. Locate attire which as nearly as possible approximates the clothing of a homeless person. (You may, if you like, locate an actual homeless person and offer to trade outfits or buy them a new outfit, though this may not actually work.)

2. Get about eight cans of beer and empty them (you may drink the beer if you are of legal age.). Place about 100 mL of water and a quarter-sized plug of chewing tobacco into each one, and set the cans outside in the sun for five to ten days.

3. Partially empty the cans and place them in a small plastic shopping bag. It's okay if some of the liquid remains in the cans, or sloshes out of them while you put them in the bag.

4. Spend about a week without shaving or bathing. Use some of this time to get your clothing dirty, sweaty, and torn.

5. Using the needle and thread, attach the video camera to the inside of your baseball cap. Make sure that the camera can be positioned so that it has a relatively unobstructed view of anything in front of you when you wear it, yet cannot be easily seen by others.

6. Go out into public in the full outfit, with the camera on and running, carrying the bag of cans, and record as much video as possible. Spend as much time as you can in public places, places of business, etc., and make a point of trying to look directly at people in the area. You may need to upload some of the video into a storage computer and then go out again. The more video you can shoot, the better. Approaching people directly may be helpful.

7. Return to your home, change clothing, shave, bathe, etc. Return any borrowed clothing to its owner(s).

8. Search the video for single frames of people's faces. Ideally, you want to catch people in the moment where they first notice you, when they are facing you directly (or as close to directly facing you as possible), and when the image is relatively unblurred. Alternately, frames in which people are beginning to turn away, frames in which you catch furtive glances, etc. may be used.

9. Save as many separate frames from the video as satisfy your standards for emotion, direction, and clarity.

10a. Edit these images together into a video where the images are looped together and change about every 1-5 seconds, OR,
10b. Print out these images on high-quality photographic paper and mount and display them.

11. Title your collection.

Telecommunications Project I

2005-08-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

You will need:

pen and paper, or a computer
reference book, or website, listing popular television shows with summaries of the series premises (optional)

1. Generate a list of television shows, either from memory or from a reference.
2. Combine series premises to as to generate a new premise, and write down the new show pitch. (Examples below.) Ideally your pitch should combine a drama and a comedy.
3. Repeat at least ten times and turn in your pitches.
4. Write a pilot episode for your premise.

Examples:

"The Facts of Life" + "Renegade:" An elderly girls' school matron and four of her orphaned charges go on a cross-country motorcycle ride to clear her of a murder she did not commit.

"The Dukes of Hazzard" + "Mr. Belvedere:" A stuffy British housekeeper joins an extended redneck family in Georgia, where the whole group takes on a set of corrupt county officials.

"Designing Women" + "MacGyver:" Four spunky Southern belles who do interior design work for a shadowy quasi-government organization escape from their frequent jams using applied science. And they also have an African-American friend!

"Wonder Woman" + "Friends:" Six powerful Amazons with superpowers and invisible jets fight crime when not sleeping with one another or drinking coffee.

"Party of Five" + "Newhart:" A family of five orphans takes on the daunting task of running a small Vermont inn and trying to fit in with the quirky townspeople.

"Roseanne" + "Knight Rider:" An earthy working mother / housewife / "domestic goddess" fights crime with the assistance of a talking car.

"Perfect Strangers" + "Beastmaster:" Two cousins, one American and one foreign-born, use their special ability to communicate with animals to fight corruption, monsters, and assorted bad people.

"Will and Grace" + "X-Files:" A gay man and his Jewish platonic female friend investigate government cover-ups of alien encounters with the aid of an irrepressible gay entertainer and a drunken heiress.

"CHiPs" + "Xena: Warrior Princess:" Lucy Lawless stars in this drama about motorcycle cops in ancient Greece.

"The Brady Bunch" + "Deep Space Nine:" Two single parents with three children each fall in love and create a brand new, huge family next to a giant wormhole to another part of the galaxy. And some of the kids are Cardassians!

Art Project VI / Poetry Project II

2005-07-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

You will need:

a small, clean glass container (e.g. a cleaned baby food jar)
rubber gloves
an X-Acto blade, metal file, flathead screwdriver, or other metal implement with a scraping surface
water
fountain pen
smallish paper or plastic bag
heavy, good-quality paper (like you would use for a resume, e.g.)
working knowledge of how to hotwire cars
a bad poet who owns his/r own home
source of ignition (Zippo lighter, cigarette lighter, matches, etc.)
accelerant (gasoline, nail polish remover, lighter fluid, kerosene, Everclear, etc.; should be in its own container)
glue (optional)
mortar and pestle (optional)

1. Put on the rubber gloves.
2. Place the ignition source and accelerant into the paper or plastic bag and close up the top. If you have a cell phone, leave it at home. Also leave behind your driver's license, or any other identification: you may choose to bring a small amount of change for public transportation if you like (dimes and Susan B. Anthony dollars are ideal, from a weight-to-value standpoint; avoid nickels and pennies).
3. Steal a parked car and place the flammables in its back seat.
4. Drive to the home of the bad poet.
5. If the home is occupied, pour accelerant around the outside of the home (or in bushes, garage, etc., as flammability permits) and ignite it with your ignition source. Be careful not to get the accelerant on your gloves: some rubber gloves will dissolve in accelerants. If home is unoccupied, break into the house and set it on fire from within.
6. Leave the property quickly. You should bring containers, lighters, etc., with you in the vehicle. For best results, do not drive directly home; drive around for a while first, discarding the ignition source and accelerant container in as many different places as is feasible. Only once these have been disposed of should you discard the gloves.
7. When the ignition source, accelerant container, and gloves have all been disposed of, you may stop and abandon the car, using whatever means present themselves to return home (taxi, bus, hitchhiking, etc.). Do NOT have someone you know pick you up.
8. Throw away the clothing you were wearing, preferably in several different towns, none of which are to be the town in which your poet's home is located, and none of which are to be the town in which your own home is located. Convenience store restrooms, fast food restrooms, university buildings (student union buildings, dormitory dumpsters, etc.), and Wal-Mart dumpsters are all good places.
9. Upon your return home, wait for thirty-six to seventy-two hours before proceeding to the next step.
10. Using your own vehicle, bring your small glass container to the remains of your poet's home, along with your metal implement. (If the building is not significantly burned, abandon the project or return home, locate another poet-homeowner, and try again from step 1).
11. Find a part of the house with significant damage and use your metal tool to scrape soot into the baby food jar. This may take a long time, as you will need to retrieve a substantial amount of soot. In a pinch, you may simply take a large chunk of a severely charred piece of wood, if available. In either case, take care to minimize the amount of non-charred material in your sample.
12. When you have a substantial amount of soot/char in your container (ideally about 3/4 of a baby food jar), cap or cover the jar and return home.
13. If your char sample contains a significant amount of solid, use the mortar and pestle to grind it into a fine powder.
14. Suspend the powdered soot/char in water. You may find it helpful, in the end, to add a small amount of glue, though this is not strictly necessary. (If glue is used, stir the solution well to distribute the glue thoroughly.)
15. Draw a small amount of the suspended soot/char into your fountain pen and test it on a piece of ordinary paper. If it is too thin (spreads too easily), heat the suspension gently to evaporate some water and then test it again. If it is too thick, add a small amount of water, stir, and test again.
16. When you have achieved the desired consistency, use the ink you have created to write a poem on the high-quality paper. One possibility is to do a rewrite of one of the bad poet's poems, though credit will be given for wholly original works as well. For best results, you should have a poem already written elsewhere, which you can copy onto the sheet.

SEMI-OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: Neither Krill, Numinous Krill, nor its originator, Jessica M. Guilford, nor any affiliated persons, blogs, organizations, or employers advocate carjacking, arson, B&E, murder, or other activities which are presently illegal in the United States, its protectorates, territories, or other space presently regarded as belonging to the United States by treaty or other international agreement.

KNK and JMG are in no way to be held responsible if you or someone you know thinks that reading something in a blog gives them license to act on the instructions therein. Any actual instances of someone performing the instructions herein, whether in total or in part, is clearly the result of their own mental instability and should not be excused by the appearance of the above instructions on this blog. KNK/JMG's preferred method of dealing with bad poetry is to mock it behind the author's back.

Ethics Worksheet II

2005-07-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

You work in a small very low-tech grocery store in a state which has a bottle and can deposit law (as in Michigan, California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, New York, Vermont, Hawaii, Iowa, or Oregon). One of your responsibilities is to count up cans and bottles and return people's deposits to them.

In practice, the deposit law serves mainly as a source of income for the homeless people of your state, who go through dumpsters and ditches looking for cans to return.

One day, a man who looks (and smells) homeless comes into the store with a large black garbage bag full of bottles and cans and wants the attendant deposits for these. When asked, he says he does not know how many there are in the bag, so you can't take his word for it. Most of the bag contains beer cans, some of which have been used for chewing tobacco (which has leaked out of the cans and gotten all over the outsides of everything, and the inside of the bag), and the whole bag is incredibly ripe-smelling because it has been out in the sun on a very hot summer day, while the homeless guy was walking it over to your store.

Your store is not obligated to take these, as they are for products you do not sell. Also, you would not have to take these even if they were from your store, because they are dirty and sticky and smelly and covered with tobacco spit, and you are legally allowed to refuse to take back anything that nobody in the store is willing to touch. Your co-workers have previously counseled you to refuse any such bottles and cans as the spirit moves you.

The homeless guy smells like alcohol already, and is presumably only collecting cans in order to get together enough money to buy more. However, if he's as alcoholic as he looks, he may well require the alcohol in order to function, and who are you to judge what he does with his body anyway; if he wants you to take his cans and give him money so he can get drunk again (or continue to be drunk, whatever), what business is it of yours?

There's nothing illegal about what he's asking you to do, and your store is probably the only one which would take them anyway -- other stores are more high-tech and have machines which collect the cans, but the cans in question have to be in fairly pristine condition, or at least not all crunched-up (as a quick glance into the bag reveals that most of the cans inside are). In other words, you are probably the guy's only shot at can redemption within walking distance.

But the cans smell really bad, and are coated with the germs of whoever drank out of them, and spat tobacco into them, and there are enough of them that it's going to mean a pretty substantial amount of time, if you take them.

Do you:

A) accept the cans, smell the smells, enable the alcoholism, and incur the wrinkled noses of your co-workers, or

B) deny the cans, leaving the homeless guy fundless and possibly D.T.-ing, for no good reason beyond your own prissiness about not, literally, wanting to get your hands dirty?

Defend your answers.

Math Problem VIII / Physics Problem I

2005-06-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

The Bush Administration is renewing production of Plutonium-238, a radioactive substance not found naturally on the Earth. ₉₄Pu²³⁸ has a half-life of 86 years and decays by ejecting an alpha particle. It has a high spontaneous fission rate and a very high heat output. It is not normally used for weapons, nor is it normally produced in pure form. It is typically a minor constituent of plutonium produced by neutron bombardment of ₉₂U²³⁸.

Plutonium can be used as a power source in space probes, espionage devices, etc., owing to its intrinsic heat, as well as in nuclear weapons. The Bush plan calls for 330 pounds of Plutonium to be produced over a 30-year period. The program would cost $1.5 billion over that period; no specific information has been released about the intended use of the material, but powering espionage devices is the assumed purpose for most of it.

(link)

Plutonium will cause death in a few days to a few weeks if swallowed as 500 mg of a soluble salt or a finely divided powder. Inhalation effects depend on the size of the particles inhaled, but 20-100 mg is sufficient to cause death within one month if the particles are retained.

(link)

Physics:

Into what isotope does ₉₄Pu²³⁹ decay?

Math:

(1 kg = 2.205 lb)

1) If all the plutonium about to be produced according to the Bush Administration's plans were converted to soluble plutonium and ingested by human beings, how many human beings could it kill?

2) If all the plutonium about to be produced were converted to finely divided airborne particles and inhaled by human beings, what is the maximum number of people it could kill?

3) If the overall estimate of the program's cost at $1.5b is correct, what would be the cost per person of killing the people in 2)? Can you think of other ways to kill that many people which would be cheaper?

Answers in comments.

Music Project III / Biology Project I / Religion Project II

2005-06-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

Write a song which compares God to the giant squid (Architeuthis dux) without irony. You may view this page for information about A. dux which may prove inspirational. Songs will be performed in front of the class and grades assigned on the basis of other students' assessments.

EDIT: This project has been cancelled because it has been brought to my attention that the pro-animal-rights Christian Contemporary heavy metal band "Tourniquet" has already written such a song. You can read the lyrics here. You may read reviews of the album on which "Architeuthis" was released, Where Moth and Rust Destroy, here. A new project will be assigned shortly.

Poetry Worksheet I

2005-06-20T15:06:00.000-07:00

Your assignment is to follow this link to refried ORACLE phone and answer the questions therein.

Responses will be graded by Stan according to whatever criteria he chooses.

Future of the United States Pop Quiz I

2005-06-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

1. Silicon Valley, California : 1987 : : ________ : 2030

a. Casper, Wyoming
b. Salt Lake City, Utah
c. Hattiesburg, Mississippi
d. Research Triangle, North Carolina

2. The end point for the collapse of church-state separation in the United States (by 2035) will be:

a. Sunday shopping and working still permitted
b. contraception allowed for married couples
c. divorce still possible in cases of infidelity
d. mandatory child-bearing or adoption for all married couples

3. The most valuable thing (as determined by its value in trade) to own in the U.S. in the year 2045 will be:

a. a Bible
b. a beer
c. a gun
d. a ten-day course of antibiotics

4. Reproductive cloning will first be achieved in _______, but will never be widespread because of the attendant __________.

a. 2006, expense
b. 2015, legal risk
c. 2019, health problems of the clones so made
d. [will never be achieved], [impossibility of the process]

5. By 2027, ________ will be the new crude oil.

a. hydrogen
b. drinkable water
c. sunscreen
d. gold

6. The current Iraq war will end in _________, amid ___________.

a. March 2007, George Bush's impeachment hearings
b. December 2018, the collapse of the global economy
c. November 2005, huge demonstrations protesting the draft
d. February 2010, catastrophic nuclear assault on the U.S. by North Korea

7. AIDS : 1980 : : ________ : 2030

a. the Ebola virus
b. smallpox
c. multidrug resistant tuberculosis
d. influenza

8. In 2021, it will be illegal to teach evolution in ______ U.S. state(s).

a. one
b. three
c. fourteen
d. twenty-nine

9. The point of the United States' greatest consumerist excess will be realized in the year _____ by the ______.

a. 2006, self-tearing toilet paper roll
b. 2008, portable microwave oven
c. 2009, 'MegaHumvee' sport-utility-assault vehicle
d. 2011, personal x-ray machine (with optional CAT scanner attachment)

10. You personally, going into the decades of the 2020s and 2030s, are most going to miss:

a. infections that can be cleared up with a course of antibiotics
b. drinkable water
c. electricity
d. food-transportation infrastructure

My answers in comments. Yours may vary. Grades will be assigned in 2045. Each question is worth ten points.

Art Project V

2005-06-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

you will need:

salt
food coloring
8-oz. drinking glasses (number subject to personal discretion)
a two-gallon or smaller desktop aquarium with top-down illumination
a bucket or plastic wastebasket
small syringe (preferable) or turkey baster
(preferably viral:) sinusitis with pronounced post-nasal drip, bronchitis¹, or tonsillitis²

¹ If you have asthma, COPD, emphysema, or other condition in which bronchitis would be more than usually life-threatening, I must have a note from your parent(s) or guardian(s) giving permission for you to go ahead with bronchitis. Students unable to get permission are encouraged to get a sinus infection instead.
² You will not be able to get tonsillitis if you have had your tonsils out already.

WARNING: Students with elevated blood pressure, or who are on sodium-restricted diets, may skip this project with the written permission of their doctor.

1. Wait for peak mucus production from your respiratory infection of choice. Post-nasal drip is highly desirable.
2. Disconnect and discard aeration equipment, if any, from the aquarium.
3. Remove top (including light) from aquarium and fill with clean, lukewarm tap water.
4. Place salt in each of the drinking glasses, and fill to 8-ounce mark with warm water. Amount of salt should vary between glasses from half a teaspoon to four teaspoons. Stir water until salt is dissolved.
5. Add food coloring to the salt water in the drinking glasses. No two glasses should have exactly the same color composition. Keep in mind that the colors will be diluted considerably by the time they appear in the work.
6. Gargle with the colored salt-water mixture for as long as possible and spit it out into the wastebasket or bucket.
7. You should now have some highly-colored, very salty, mucus left in your mouth. Carefully spit it into the aquarium. If all has gone according to plan, and the sinus infection, salt level, coloration, and etc., are at appropriate levels, you should now have a string or blob of colored mucus in the aquarium. If it is highly saturated in salt, it will be at the bottom; if your mucus is of inconsistent quality, or you had to spit it out with force, it may be stringy. Low-salt or low-viscosity mucus may spread out at the top of the aquarium; if this is not a desirable effect for you, remove it by sucking it out with the syringe, or skim the top with a glass.
8. Repeat steps 6 and 7 as many times as desired for each of your color selections. You may need to take a break or two in the process of building up your mucus sculpture, to give your body a chance to produce more mucus. Rinse with water twice between each color switch; otherwise, some of the preceding color may taint the working color.
9. When you have finished, replace the aquarium top, and turn on the overhead light and assess your construction. Are the colors pleasing? Are the mucus blobs and strings relating to one another harmoniously ? If there are any air bubbles in the piece, do they enhance it?
10. Use the syringe to remove undesired elements, nudge mucus globs into alternate positions, remove or add small air bubbles, etc.
11. As your construction would be destroyed by even minor jostling from transportation, your grade will be assessed on the basis of photographs or sketches of the work. For photographs, get as close as possible while still keeping the picture in focus: detail is critical! Experimenting with lighting of different intensities, or at different angles, may be helpful. Sketches are likely to be of better image quality but are more time-consuming, and the mucus may dissolve during the production of the sketch. Keeping the work cool may slightly delay disintegration.
12. Students who are unable to achieve satisfactory results with photography or sketches may bring their apparatus to school with them and construct their pieces on-site. Principal Brown may or may not view the pieces as well, and may or may not know the method for their construction when he views them.

[Results]

2005-06-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

Results of Art Project III, done in January with a smaller-than-recommended number of balloons.

Art Project IV

2005-05-27T22:16:00.000-07:00

You will need:

room with a large picture window
scotch tape (™ 3M Corp)
scissors
overhead projector
overhead projector bulb
overhead projector stand
silicone aquarium sealant (one tube should be sufficient)
butcher paper sufficient to cover picture window
multiple siphons long enough to reach a bathtub or sink from your designated window (these may be shared among members of the class; sign up for a time to use them if you do not have your own, or are unable to purchase your own, or else substitute a pitcher)
aquarium (approximate dimensions: 6" H x 40"L x 16" W; consult me if you are unsure whether your pre-made aquarium may be used)
approximately 15-16 gallons of water (amount will vary according to aquarium dimensions)
30-35 small goldfish or 5-10 large koi
two wood or metal stands (to be custom-built)
aquarium thermometer (inside-mounted preferable)

Ms. Guilford wishes to publicly acknowledge the assistance of Mr. Schaffer and his fifth period Industrial Arts class for their offer of expert help in constructing custom aquariums and support stands. This project counts for course credit in Industrial Arts; interested students should contact Mr. Schaffer, room 15, for details.

1. Tape a single sheet of butcher paper over the picture window.
2. Place the overhead projector, on its stand, in front of the window. Turn it on (make sure the bulb is installed and functioning).
3. Adjust the distance of the projector from the window until the image fits precisely in the window.
4. Adjust the focus of the projector so that the image projected on the window is as sharp as possible, then turn off the projector.

NOTE: you may require some assistance for steps 5-8.

5. Place the stands on either side of the projector. They should be sturdy enough to support about 60 pounds of weight. The tops of the stands should be slightly taller than the top of the overhead projector (one inch or less if on carpet, less than a quarter-inch if on wood, stone, tile, or concrete floor).
6. Carefully place the aquarium across the tops of the stands and the projector. For best results, the bottom of the aquarium should be resting just above, or else flush with, the top of the projector.
7. Unplug the projector.
8. Slowly fill the aquarium with water. Be alert for any leakage (especially from corners).

ATTENTION: If any leakage is detected, stop filling the aquarium immediately and empty it with a siphon, pitcher, etc. until it can be moved to a different location and dumped out. You must then allow the aquarium to dry before resealing the edges and corners according to the silicone manufacturer's instructions. Also take care to dry the projector, stands, etc. thoroughly before proceeding.

9. When the aquarium is full, clean up any water spills and then plug in the projector and turn it on.
10. Recheck the focus of the image produced on the butcher paper and adjust as needed. (You should not need to make a large adjustment.)
11. Add the goldfish to the aquarium.
12. Your butcher paper should now be the screen on which a projection of the goldfish (viewed from top down) is being shown. You may decrease the water depth for slightly sharper shadows, though this will increase ripple visibility from the goldfish, and may also make the glass more prone to breakage, due to temperature differences. For the first few hours of operation, monitor the water temperature; goldfish and koi are relatively hardy over a range of water temperatures but the heat output of the projector may vary according to make and model; if water temperature goes above 80ºF (27ºC), add more water (if possible), cool the room, or shut down the projector for 18-24 hours. You should also go outside and view your projection.

WARNINGS AND ADMONISHMENTS:

Under NO circumstances should you leave the projector in continuous operation for more than two hours; though the water should serve to buffer extreme temperature changes in the glass, it is still only glass, and will break if overheated. You may connect the projector's electrical plug to an outlet via a 24-hour timer (available at most department stores): I would recommend setting the timer to run the projector from 9 to 11 PM and 1-3 AM (plus an optional 5-7 PM run during the winter, when the nights are longer.).

Do not leave the projector unattended while in operation.

Overfilling the aquarium may increase mechanical strain and lead to breakage of the aquarium glass, the projector glass, or both.

Students concerned about animal cruelty may substitute other items for the goldfish, subject to my approval; some mechanism to provide continuous object motion must be included in the proposal or it will be rejected.

Goldfish will die if not fed regularly. Frequent cleaning (at least every three or four days) of the bottom of the tank will be necessary as well.

Water will evaporate from the tank over time and must be replaced with fresh dechlorinated water (at least every two weeks).

Algae will grow on the sides and bottom of the tank and should be regularly removed to maintain transparency of the projection.

The presence of water in this electrical installation greatly increases the risk of shock. Always disconnect the apparatus from the power supply when performing aquarium maintenance. Whenever possible, have a parent, guardian, or other student in the room when making adjustments to the projector, aquarium, stands, etc.

Extra Credit Opportunity: Students will be given extra credit for completing, prior to set-up of this project, an electrical safety program given by the local Red Cross chapter. Contact me no later than June 7 if you wish to sign up.

Math Problem VII

2005-05-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

1) A cubic meter of helium gas can lift a load of one kilogram. Assume that the mass of the balloon (and string or ribbon) is negligible, and calculate the diameter of the spherical balloon required to lift:

A) a 21-gram mouse
B) a nine pound, two ounce newborn baby in a fifteen-pound car seat
C) a 230-pound giant panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca)
D) a Humvee (5200 pounds)

Extra Credit 1: an average-sized rubber party balloon has approximately the same volume as a sphere eleven inches in diameter. Determine for each of the above how many such helium-filled balloons would be required to lift the object in question.

Extra Credit 2: a king-size waterbed mattress contains about 1.325 cubic meters of water when full. Determine for each of the above how many such helium-filled mattresses would be required to lift the object in question.

2) Annual world production of helium (mostly from natural gas) is 100 million cubic meters. How heavy of an object could this lift if it were all gathered together in a single spherical balloon?

conversion factors:
1 cubic meter = 1000 liters
1 pound = 16 ounces
1 pound = 2.2046 kilograms
1 kilogram = 1000 grams
1 ounce = 28.35 grams
1 foot = 0.3048 meters
1 inch = 2.54 centimeters
1 foot = 12 inches
1 meter = 100 centimeters

formulas:
volume of a sphere = (4π/3)r³, where r is the radius
diameter of a sphere = 2r, where r is the radius

constant:
π = 3.14159

Answers in comments.

Math Problem VI

2005-05-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

You are attending a college undergraduate commencement ceremony. One of the commencement speakers has told you that there are 1,400 students graduating on this day, and they are all to line up as someone reads their name and someone else shakes their hand. You count twenty names read during the first minute. If the first name was read off at 10:06 AM, what time will it be when the last name is read?

Answer in comments.

Ethics Worksheet I

2005-05-14T17:46:00.000-07:00

1. John (not the same John who is seeing Mary in Math Problem V, by the way) goes to Wal-Mart and picks up a frozen chicken and a hunter's knife. While there, he has the idea to go to the sporting/hunting department and use the knife to threaten a clerk, steal a gun and ammunition, and go on a murderous rampage.

John decides not to rampage on the grounds that he would probably be shot or arrested before he could leave the store, and leaves without incident.

Was John's decision moral, immoral, or neither?

2. John arrives home at his apartment, where he lives alone. He places the chicken on the counter and allows it to thaw. When it is thawed, he has intercourse with the chicken, cooks it, and eats it.

Is John's behavior moral, immoral, or neither?

3. John goes to bed. While he is asleep, a burglar enters the apartment and begins to steal John's VCR. John wakes up and enters the living room with his bedside handgun, whereupon the burglar pleads for his life and offers to leave the VCR. John, rationalizing that no one would hold him responsible for killing an intruder in his own home, shoots the intruder dead and then calls the police.

Was John's decision to shoot moral, immoral, or neither?

Poetry Project I

2005-05-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

you will need:

pen
paper
poetic skill (optional)

1) Go to this web site and click on the word "English," under the "Word Generator 1.2" heading.

2) A new page will be generated, at the center of which will be a 6 x 10 array of "words." Select six of these. (If there are not six adequate words on this page, refreshing the page will generate a new set of 60 words, which you may select from as well. Repeat until you have six.)

For best results, your words should be pronounceable and not already in use as an English word.

3) Use these six words as the end words of a sestina. Your line length and meter is up to you; however, extra credit will be given for sestinas in iambic pentameter.

HINT: Some students will find it easier to begin if they invent definitions for the words before beginning.

4) You will be asked to write your words on the blackboard, and then read your sestina in front of the class. The other students will be asked to guess at the meaning of your six words, and you will be graded according to the accuracy of their guesses regarding your words (60% of grade) and the accuracy of your guesses about their words.

Math Problem V

2005-05-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

NOTE: The ages in the following word problems are not constant from one question to the next. Mary's age from problem #1, for example, cannot be used to solve for Steve's age in #2.

1) Mary is dating a man, John, who is one and one-half times her age. In John and Mary's jurisdiction, John can be imprisoned for statutory rape if Mary is under the age of 18. If the sum of John and Mary's ages is 50, is John in danger of going to prison if found out?

2) Mary is seeing two men simultaneously, John and Steve. John is one and one-half times Mary's age, and Steve is seven years younger than John. What is the smallest possible value for the sum of their ages if all three are at least eighteen years old?

3) Mary has decided to become a prostitute. Her pimp, Tony Vinylman, requires her to pay him 75 percent of all earnings from her tricks, and she has living expenses of $300 per week. She can perform oral sex twenty-four times per day. How much does she need to charge for oral sex in order to pay her bills, assuming a five-day workweek? How much should she charge if she works every day?

Answers are in comments.

Dadaism Project I

2005-05-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

you will need:

one lint brush
20 oz. semisweet chocolate
one square of origami paper
one copy of Document album (REM, 1987)
500 g calcium chloride
5 gallons deionized water
modeling clay in at least three colors (may substitute Play-Doh™)
one medium carrot, peeled
one Phillips-head screwdriver
one 750-mL bottle of Black Velvet brand Canadian whiskey
Southern Baptist preacher (optional)
one nine-inch round cake pan

1. Beg with left hand.
2. Rotate pan 180 degrees.
3. Fold lengthwise and tear along fold into two equal strips.
4. Blend in brown sugar until the mixture has a creamy texture.
5. Wait twenty minutes.
6. Repeat steps 3-6.
7. Rinse with an equal volume of water.
8. Flex at top of curl and hold for fifteen seconds.
9. Keep out of reach of children for fifteen minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
10. Fold up from base until top of fold is three inches from the edge of the sheet.
11. Heat above burner while stirring and add 1.5 mL of EDTA (ethylenediaminetetraacetate, 1M in water).
12. Declare victory.
13. Ignite blowtorch and turn over top card. Insert floppy disc into drive and wait for system response.
14. A box will appear asking you if you wish to retry. Click the "yes" button.

Extra Credit Assignments I

2005-04-25T22:10:00.000-07:00

Art:

Playing with ice (courtesy of Jeezidunno)

Science:

Using chocolate and a Coke to start a fire (courtesy of Samantha Moss, the greatly missed contributor to Oracular Vagina and Oracular Vagina 2)

Math/Economics:

Expense of some common liquids by volume (courtesy of your instructor, Ms. Guilford)

Perfumery Project I

2005-03-18T02:47:00.000-08:00

You will need:

Calvin Klein's "Obsession" (buy the big bottle)
assorted organic chemicals common in perfumery (will be provided by instructor)
your lab notebook
pen or pencil
eyedropper
10-mL graduated cylinder
test tube (7-10 mL)
50-mL beaker
stirring rod

1) Measure 10 mL of "Obsession" into the graduated cylinder and transfer this to the beaker.

2) According to your whim, add chemicals from the organics cabinet to the test tube, dropwise, carefully recording in your notebook which compounds you used, and in what amount. Stir after each drop added

3) When you have come up with a fragrance you dislike, add it to the sample of "Obsession" in the beaker and stir with the stir rod.

4) You should now have a mixture which smells like neither the "Obsession" you began with or the unpleasant-smelling assemblage from the test tube.

a) If the resulting mixture is not an improvement on the original "Obsession" sample, discard it, wash all glassware (including the stirring rod!), and begin again from step 1.

b) If the resulting mixture is an improvement on the "Obsession" you began with, contact Calvin Klein's perfume people about marketing your mixture as an adjunct fragrance called "Compulsion," for exclusive use by people who are already wearing "Obsession."

The first student (or if you have a lab partner, pair of students) to have a signed agreement with Calvin Klein will receive an A for the course. All other students will fail and must repeat the class during the summer session.

Sociology Project I

2005-03-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

Background:

According to popular culture, all human beings on the planet are connected to one another by only six degrees of separation. A 'degree of separation' is defined as personal contact in which both parties know the name of the other and have some means by which to contact them.

Part A:

If you were to try to communicate directly with actor Kevin Bacon, using only persons (as opposed to corporations, chat rooms, or other non-personal intermediaries), which of your acquaintances would you select as your first contact, and why?

Part B:

Which famous person or persons do you have the smallest degree of separation from? (You may use whatever definition of 'celebrity' seems appropriate to you. Bear in mind that if you name someone sufficiently obscure, you may be called upon to define the field in which your celebrity is famous.)

Part C:

As with Part A, except substitute a poor Ivory Coast farmer for Kevin Bacon. Was your answer different from your answer to Part A? If so, explain.

Part D:

Your answers to Parts A-C will be read to the class, and then I will ask you to write a short (<5 pp.) essay in which you discuss whether or not you believe that six degrees of separation are sufficient to connect any two individuals on the planet, according to the popular theory. (Keep in mind that any celebrities named by your classmates in their answers to Part B are now connected to you by only one more degree of separation: e.g., if Christy is three degrees from President Bush, you are now four degrees from President Bush.)

Math Problem IV

2005-02-28T12:31:00.000-08:00

There are approximately 6.3 billion (6,300,000,000) human beings on the Earth at the present moment.

Imagine that each person on the planet is given a coin which is scrupulously calibrated to be absolutely fair, equally likely to come up heads or tails. (Persons who are neurologically undeveloped, damaged, or ill will have a coin flipped on their behalf by a family member or neighbor.) At exactly midnight, GMT, everyone flips his or her coin and records the outcome (heads or tails). Then the process is repeated again at 12:02 AM, and 12:04 AM, and so forth, every two minutes, until every coin has come up heads at least once and tails at least once, at which point the coin-flipping stops.

What time is it (GMT) when the coin-flipping stops?

Answer in comments.

Activity: How many times will the last coin-flipper have seen his/r coin come up either all heads or all tails? Is s/he likely to believe that the coin is fair and unweighted? Divide into small groups and discuss the emotional impact of this exercise on the coin-flipper if A) s/he is inclined to be skeptical of the claims of others or B) s/he is inclined to assign religious meaning to the exercise.

How would you defend the fairness of the coin to the skeptic in A)?

How would you explain to the believer in B) that s/he had not been singled out for special treatment by a deity, that inevitably a long string of H or T outcomes was going to happen to somebody?

Political Science Worksheet I

2005-02-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

Greetings to those who followed the link from King of Zembla.

In each of the following exchanges, assume that you are Scott McClellan, G. W. Bush's White House Press Secretary. Compose a response to any one of the following (hypothetical) reporters' questions.

1. Q: The President has recently renewed his proposal to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, despite public skepticism on the part of some Administration advisors and oil company executives that ANWR has sufficient oil reserves to make its production worth the cost of drilling. Does the President still support ANWR oil exploration, and why or why not?

2. Q: Can you comment on reports that the Pentagon has discontinued prescribing the anti-malarial drug Lariam following assertions that it leads to mental instability in some soldiers? Are there plans to investigate the role of the medication in the effects reported by soldiers, and if it turns out that there is a link, is the White House prepared to go on-record as promising compensation to soldiers and their families?

3. Q: Does the President have a sexual fetish for bald men? And was this a factor in Jim-Jeff Gannon-Guckert getting access to the briefing room despite lack of proper press credentials?

Answers will be graded based on the number of points they earn according to the following criteria:

(30 points) response does not incriminate anyone at White House
(25 points) response does not incriminate friends or associates of White House
(20 points) blames Bill Clinton
(15 points/each) blames any group composed entirely of American citizens
(15 points/each) blames European allies / other allies
(15 points) answers a question other than the one which was asked
(15 points) amounts to a claim that the question does not need to be answered
(15 points) amounts to a claim that the question cannot be answered
(15 points) is completely unparsable
(12 points) is more than 7 or fewer than 3 sentences in length
(10 points) discourages other reporters from asking similar questions
(7 points) any appeal to a political principle not actually supported by the Republican Party (church/state separation, reproductive rights, business regulation, bipartisanship, global cooperation, right to privacy, gun control, etc.)
(5 points) sincere-sounding platitude about bipartisanship
(5 points) references an Administration official other than the President or Vice-President without identifying him or her
(3 points/each) platitude about Iraqi people
(3 points/each) platitude about American businessmen or business practices (in general)
(3 points/each) platitude about Republican party, its leaders, or its supposed ideals
(3 points) condescending tone
(3 points) optimistic spin
(1 point/each) uses the words "freedom," "family," "responsibility," "accountability / accountable," "friendship," "full disclosure" "legitimate" (either pronunciation), "clarify," "exchange," "communication," "integrity," "strategy," "co-operation," "credibility," "security"

55 points or less – F
56-75 points – D
76-95 points – C
96-115 points – B
above 116 points – A

Special note from Ms. Guilford: Lurkers are encouraged to try their hand at this one. Send an e-mail containing your answer to me here. Identify which question you are attempting to answer, and the name to which you would like your response attributed, if posted publicly. The highest-scoring response will be posted on this blog, as well as, potentially, any other responses which amuse me. I reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.

-J.G.

Music Project II

2005-02-16T14:07:00.000-08:00

You will need:

large uncarpeted room (a school gymnasium is ideal)
48 identical freestanding shelving units (preferably open on both front and back, and with adjustable-height shelves)
1500 mousetraps
1503 hi-bounce "superballs" (27-33 mm in diameter)
125 12-egg egg cartons
glue
45 identical electronic synthesizers, with amplification equipment
recording equipment for the synthesizers (either MIDI cable – preferred – or microphones)
plywood sheets (optional)
cardboard or card stock (optional)
rubber bands (optional)
1-6 stepladders (optional)
pennies (number variable, optional)
camcorder
VHS videotape (if camcorder is non-digital)
safety goggles for all students and instructor

The class will divide into three groups for the execution of this project, as it is very complex. These groups will be designated by number. Students may select their own groups, provided that 1) the groups wind up approximately equal in size and 2) no groups cause disruption to the project or to other students. If these conditions are not met, the instructor may reassign groups at his or her discretion.

Group 1 (Physical)
1.1) Assemble the shelving units. You may find it convenient to utilize an assembly-line sort of process. If the units are constructed in such a way that the shelves need not all be at the same height, make sure to include some variation in the heights. Allow a minimum of eighteen inches between shelves.

Group 2 (Detail)
2.1) Cut the egg cartons into individual cups. You should be able to get 12 cups from each carton.
2.2) Trim down the edges of the cups until they are about 20-25 mm deep.
2.3) Either set the mousetraps or use rubber bands to hold them in an open position. Apply a dab of glue near the center of the extended arm (Carefully!) and place one of the egg cups on the dab of glue.
2.4) Allow the glue to dry.

Group 3 (Technical)
3.1) If you wish to prevent certain note ranges from being played, as for example very low or very high notes, cut the cardboard or card stock into strips as wide as the keyboard's keys are long. For most keyboards this will be about four or five inches.
3.2) Insert the strips you just cut into the spaces between the keys, for the ranges of keys you want to block from play. You may need to use multiple strips adjacent to one another, if you desire to block long ranges of notes.
3.3) Set the default voice on the synthesizers to the same option for each. For best results, you should use a voice with a sharp attack and long decay, for example a piano voice with sustain, or bells, or chimes.

Group 1 (Physical)
1.2) Identify the most convenient entrance/exit to the room, and at the opposite end, begin setting up the shelving units. The gym teacher may insist that you apply the rubber "feet" to the bottoms of the units. Avoid dropping or dragging the units, to protect the floor surface. Place the units far enough apart to enable a person to walk between them (roughly 3 or 4 feet), but no more distant than that.

Group 2 (Detail)
Now we will begin to load the mousetraps onto the shelving units. Start with the top shelf (use stepladders if necessary). You should be able to fit about three mousetraps along the width of the units, and seven or eight along the length.
2.5) Set the mousetrap, and place a superball into the cup. Slide the mousetrap gently along the surface of the shelf until it reaches the desired location, then begin on the next trap.
2.6) When one shelf is full, proceed to the next-lower shelf.
2.7) When all shelves on a unit are filled, call members of Group 1 to place another unit and continue from step 2.5 until a row of 16 shelving units has been filled with mousetraps.

Group 1 (Physical)
1.3) When one full row (16 shelving units) has been placed and loaded with mousetraps, tell Group 2 to pause loading, and inform Group 3 that they need to place the synthesizers in the spaces between units.

Group 3 (Technical)
3.4) Disable the automatic shutoff feature of the synthesizers (if possible).
3.5) When notified that a full row of shelving units has been placed, connect a set of fifteen synthesizers to sources of electricity, and amplification and/or recording devices. (Wireless devices are preferable but may not be available.) Place the fifteen synthesizers in the spaces between shelving units.

Group 1 (Physical)
1.4) The class may decide to cover the wires with sections of plywood in order to cover the wires leading from the synthesizers to amplification and recording equipment. If this is desired, cut the plywood to fit over the wires and place stacks of pennies underneath the plywood, at the corners, to keep the surface more or less level. There should be adequate clearance for the wires underneath the plywood; do not just set plywood directly on top of the wires.
1.5) When the wires have been covered, begin the next row of shelving units as in step 1.2. Maintain a separation between rows of at least two inches, to guard against inadvertent bumping of the shelving units.

Group 2 (Detail)
2.8) When synthesizers have been placed between the shelving units in the first row, proceed to the second row, repeating the process in steps 2.5 to 2.7.

Group 3 (Technical)
3.6) When the second row of shelving units has been set up and loaded with mousetraps, place synthesizers in the spaces between units as in steps 3.4 and 3.5.

Group 1 (Physical)
1.6) When synthesizers are placed in the second row, cover exposed wires with plywood again as in steps 1.4 and 1.5, and begin placing the final row of shelving units. Be sure to leave at least five feet of space open at the side of the gym by the third row of units, as people will need to be able to walk around to load shelves and install synthesizers.

Group 2 (Detail)
2.9) When synthesizers have been placed between the shelving units in the second row, proceed to the third row, repeating the process in steps 2.5 to 2.7.

Group 3 (Technical)
3.7) When the third row of shelving units has been set up and loaded with mousetraps, place synthesizers in the spaces between units as in steps 3.4 and 3.5.

All Groups
1.7; 2.10; 3.8) When all shelving units have been set up, loaded with mousetraps, and synthesizers placed between them, use the remaining mousetraps and superballs to fill in additional gym floor space, if any. You may have mousetraps and superballs left over. (Be sure to leave at least 3 superballs out for the instructor, in any event.)

Instructor
I.1) If the gymnasium has a balcony, take the class (and any other students or instructors who wish to view the performance) to the balcony; otherwise, you may seat the class high up in the bleachers. If no seating is available, you may proceed from the floor of the gymnasium.

Group 3 (Technical)
3.9) Begin recording with the camcorder (as well as any computerized links from the synthesizer to recording equipment).

All Groups / Instructor
1.8; 2.11; 3.10; I.2) Put on safety goggles.

Instructor
I.3) Throw one of the superballs toward the center of the shelving units and synthesizers, or invite a favored student to throw one. If it fails to set off any mousetraps, or the mousetrap is set off but fails to initiate the desired chain reaction, try again with one or both of the remaining two superballs. If these still fail, superballs may be retrieved or unloaded from accessible mousetraps until a chain reaction is successfully initiated.
I.4) When performance has ended, students may proceed to the floor to set off any mousetraps which failed to go off, and collect the superballs, mousetraps, synthesizers, and other equipment for the next class. A few students should be designated to count the returned items and ensure that no items (for example, stray superballs) remain in the gym.

Philosophy Project I

2005-02-16T13:01:00.000-08:00

We have just concluded our viewing of the movie The Matrix. In the movie, a group of extraterrestrials have hooked all human beings into the eponymous "Matrix," a mechanism by which humans in a vegetative or comatose state can be used to generate power or nutrients or something for the extraterrestrials. In the movie, the overwhelming majority of human beings are not aware that they are being used in this fashion, and the extraterrestrials are using advanced virtual-reality technology to provide the brains of the humans with impressions and experiences resembling late-twentieth-century everyday life.

I will divide the class into groups of three or four. Groups are to brainstorm for methods by which a person could determine whether he or she was in the world posited by The Matrix. Ideas will be presented to the class next week.

Grades will be based on 1) likelihood that the method you propose will be successful (as determined by your classmates), 2) originality of the idea you present, 3) presentation skills, 4) class participation, and 5) handling of cross-examination about your method from other members of the class.

The second part of the project will be a short (5 pp. or less) essay in which you should address the following questions:

A) Was it more or less difficult to come up with testing ideas than you expected it to be?
B) What did you learn from the class attempts to test the theory?
C) Is it necessarily even a bad thing to be living in the Matrix? Why or why not?
D) Was it uncomfortable to contemplate the idea that you might be a subject in the Matrix? Why or why not?

Math Problem III

2005-02-16T11:13:00.001-08:00

An indoor swimming pool is 12 feet in width by 30 feet in length. The shallow end is 3.5 feet deep and the deep end is 8 feet deep, and the depth of the pool changes linearly from the deep end to the shallow end.

One standard box of Jell-O brand gelatin (6 ounces) makes four cups of Jell-O when set up.

Calculate the number of boxes of Jell-O which would be required to completely fill the swimming pool. Assume that the volume of the filtration equipment is negligible and that the pool is to be filled with Jell-O completely.

Conversion factors you may need:

1 cubic foot = 7.481 gal
1 gal = 16.0 cups

Advanced students:
A) One package of Jell-O, prepared according to the directions, makes 8 servings of Jell-O which each have 80 calories. What would be the total caloric content of the swimming pool so filled?
B) If a standard caloric intake for an adult is 2000 calories per day, for how many days could a single adult live off of the swimming pool filled with Jell-O? Assume that there is no spoilage and that the Jell-O in the swimming pool is nutritionally adequate to support life.

Answers are located in the comments.

Biotechnology Project I / Cryptography Project I / Religion Project I

2005-01-29T04:37:00.000-08:00

Background:

Your vocabulary words are highlighted in maroon.

DNA is a linear polymer which encodes the information by which cells make specific proteins. These proteins are also linear polymers of amino acids. The particular sequence of amino acids in a protein determines its properties.

DNA codes the information for amino acids by means of bases, which are four in number: adenine, cytosine, guanine, and thymine. These bases are often abbreviated as A, C, G, and T. These bases are read in groups of three, which are called codons. Sixty-one of the sixty-four possible codons specify an amino acid, with the remaining three being the signal to terminate production of a protein.

Amino acids are often abbreviated using single letters of the alphabet. The abbreviations, along with the DNA codons for them, are below:

alanine (A) encoded by GCA, GCC, GCG, GCT
cysteine (C) encoded by TGC, TGT
aspartic acid (D) encoded by GAC, GAT
glutamic acid (E) encoded by GAA, GAG
phenylalanine (F) encoded by TTC, TTT
glycine (G) encoded by GGA, GGC, GGG, GGT
histidine (H) encoded by CAC, CAT
isoleucine (I) encoded by ATA, ATC, ATT
lysine (K) encoded by AAA, AAG
leucine (L) encoded by CTA, CTC, CTG, CTT, TTA, TTG
methionine (M) encoded by ATG¹
asparagine (N) encoded by AAC, AAT
proline (P) encoded by CCA, CCC, CCG, CCT
glutamine (Q) encoded by CAA, CAG
arginine (R) encoded by AGA, AGG, CGA, CGC, CGG, CGT
serine (S) encoded by AGC, AGT, TCA, TCC, TCG, TCT
threonine (T) encoded by ACA, ACC, ACG, ACT
valine (V) encoded by GTA, GTC, GTG, GTT
tryptophan (W) encoded by TGG
tyrosine (Y) encoded by TAC, TAT

The stop codons are TAA, TAG, and TGA.

You will need:

computer
paper
floppy disk (optional)

1) The first step in the process is to expand the genetic "alphabet" to include the letters B, J, O, U, X, and Z, which are not currently assigned to amino acids. You may do this in one of two ways:

1A) (preferred) Assign the unassigned alphabetic characters to whichever amino acid abbreviation most closely resembles it. For example, the letter U might be encoded by valine (V). I recommend the following: encode B with P, J with I, O with Q, U with V, X with Y, and Z with N.
1B) (alternate) You may also, if you wish, assign specific codons to the letters which remain. For example, you could specify that AGA and AGG, which are normally codons for the amino acid arginine (R), will instead be specific for the letter B in your text. If you do this, please bear in mind that you must supply me with a list of the codons so assigned, and you must not reassign codons for amino acids which have only one (e.g. tryptophan). More advanced students may wish to assign redundant codons to punctuation (space, question mark, comma, digits) as well, though this will reduce the length of the text you can encode.
1C) (alternate) You may also bypass reassignment of codons or characters by choosing a text which does not include the letters B, J, O, U, X, or Z; however, finding such texts will be extraordinarily difficult, owing to the frequency of the letters O and U in English.

2) Select your religious text for encoding. Remember that it must meet the following specifications: a) it must be no longer than 4000 bases (1333 codons). b) It must come from a scripture which is regarded as authoritative, or which has been regarded as authoritative in the past, by some substantial number of people. c) It must exist in a form which utilizes standard English letters, whether by translation or originally. This means that it will not be possible, within the scope of this project, to translate texts which utilize other alphabets (Russian, Hebrew, Greek), unless the texts have been subsequently translated into English. d) It must begin with the letter "M," or else you must write a short identifying tag at the beginning of the text which begins with the letter "M."

3) Proceeding one letter at a time, select a codon for each and write it down in sequential order.

4) When completed, you may double-check your sequence using an on-line DNA translator tool, as for example this one. Cut and paste from your document into the translation window, select "compact" from the pull-down menu for "output format," and verify that at least one of the sequences displayed matches the intended text.

5) Submit your sequence (by e-mail or floppy disk!) to me for verification and grading. You must include the following information: source of the text, intended translation of the text, and a paragraph or two identifying which method you used to encode the "missing" letters (B, J, O, U, X, and Z), as well as any special characters you may have included. Your sequence will then be evaluated and a grade assigned.

¹ Methionine also serves as the initiator codon and is required to begin a protein.

Elaboration (choose any three):

1) Write an essay no longer than five pages in which you discuss the potential religious impact, if any, of splicing your text into the genome of a living organism, for example, the bacterium E. coli. Would it change your understanding of the text you have selected if you knew that every twenty minutes, a bacterium kept in an acceptable climactic and nutritional environment could reproduce your text in its progeny, or exchange your text with other bacteria through the bacterial equivalent of sexual intercourse?

2) Order your text from an on-line company which specializes in production of short sequences of DNA (one possibility is Integrated DNA Technologies). For long sequences, you may need to break your text into multiple small pieces and join them together later; alternately, you might enquire as to whether the company would link your sequence together for an additional charge. You may use my name and the address of the school for your shipping information; however, I will not supply a credit card for your order.
Any DNA sequences so obtained will be presented to the class in short (approximately five minutes) presentations, in which you will display the DNA, read its translated text, and explain why you selected that particular text for encoding.

3) As with 2), except use the DNA you obtain to splice your text into a living organism. Students selecting this option will receive a grade of incomplete for the course, until transfection of the text can be verified. Students will then receive all known organisms containing the text, and will be given a grade of A+ for the course.

4) Write a creative short story (less than 10 pages) set after the extinction of the human race, in which aliens land on Earth and discover your encoded message in bacteria. Describe the implications for the alien race.

5) Mutations in DNA sequence can be induced by a wide variety of causes, including chemicals, radiation (including cosmic rays, x-rays, radioactive decay), internal rearrangement of bases, and mistakes made by proofreading enzymes. There are four main types of mutation:

insertion of a base, or set of bases, into the sequence (for example, ACATAG --> ACAGTAG)
deletion of a base of set of bases (ACATAG --> ACAG)
substitution of a base (ACATAG --> AGATAG)
duplication of a base or set of bases (ACATAG --> ACATCATTAG)

"Mutate" your text at least five times with each of the above methods so that a new message with a different meaning is formed. Supply the sequences for the mutations, and identify which type of mutation has led to the new message.

6) Not all mutations result in changes to the protein sequence, or impair the function of the protein produced. Explain how this is possible in a short (300 words) essay. You may find pp. 1156-1175 of your textbook useful.

A sample text and translation, with mutations, is included in the comments. I have included punctuation and spaces which are not, strictly speaking, encoded in the DNA sequence in order to enhance readability.

Music Project I

2005-01-18T23:55:00.000-08:00

You will need:

scissors
plastic ballpoint pen
scotch tape
a piece of music, recorded on cassette, or a blank cassette tape and a musical selection on CD
a stereo or boom box capable of cassette playback
a stereo or boom box capable of recording to cassette (optional; may be the same as the playback device)

1. If you have a pre-recorded cassette, and you are willing to lose the music on the cassette, this cassette will now be referred to as the Primary Cassette: proceed to step 3. If you have music on a cassette which you are not willing to potentially destroy, or music on a CD, proceed to step 2.

2. Use the recording device to record a copy of the music from CD or cassette to the blank cassette. The blank cassette will now be called the Primary Cassette.

3. Rewind the Primary Cassette to the beginning of the tape.

4. Turn the tape upside down, so that the side of the tape which contacts the magnetic head is facing you. The tape which is visible should lack the brown or grayish magnetic coating which records the music: it is often light pink or blue in color, though it may be other colors. If you are in doubt, ask your instructor.

5. Pull a loop of tape about an inch long from the center of the tape, just above where the magnetic head contacts the magnetic tape.

6. Take two small lengths of scotch tape from your scotch tape dispenser, and attach them on a clean nearby surface so that a substantial portion of the tape is hanging free in the air.

7. Place your index finger in the center of the loop of tape. Hold the tape steady on either side with your thumb and middle finger. Slide the scissors under the loop of tape, and cut through the tape.

8. Pick up one of the pieces of scotch tape from step 6. Put it on one of the loose ends of the magnetic tape. The alignment does not have to be precise, but it should be adequate to cover the full width of the end.

9. Rotate the end with the scotch tape on it one half-turn, in either direction, and then attach the unrotated other end to the same piece of scotch tape, making the alignment of the second end as close to parallel as possible.

10. Fold the scotch tape over the cut. Use scissors to trim away any excess scotch tape from the sides of the magnetic tape. Try to make the reconstituted magnetic tape as straight as possible.

11. You should now have a cassette tape into which a single half-turn has been inserted. If you do not, consult your instructor.

12. This is the boring part: carefully advance the tape, manually, to the opposite side. I.e., you are to rewind to the beginning of the other side of the tape. While doing this:

DO NOT allow the turn to become wound around the spindles of the cassette.
DO NOT attempt to advance the tape too rapidly, as this may cause it to kink or fold.

13. When you reach the other end of the cassette, repeat steps 4 to 10 on the other end of the magnetic tape, but instead of adding another half-turn, remove it. If you rotated the cut end of the tape counterclockwise in step 9, you will need to rotate the opposite side clockwise in this step.

14. At this point, you should have a cassette where the central portion of the magnetic tape has been rotated 180 degrees relative to its ends. Wait for your instructor to confirm that you have performed the procedure correctly before proceeding to step 15.

15. Place the cassette into a playback device and press play. You may need to fast-forward, if you did not have music on the entire Primary Cassette when you began.

Answer the following questions:
1. Why is the music now being played backwards?
2. Do you hear any messages, Satanic or otherwise, in the music? (If so: ask one of your classmates to listen to the same section of your tape, without telling them the message you believe you hear. Do your classmates hear the same thing you hear? If not, how is their interpretation different? Do your results reinforce 1970s/80s-era hysteria about so-called "backward masking" in music, or discredit it?)
3. ADVANCED STUDENTS: Is your recording missing most of its high-frequency sounds? If so, research music recording on magnetic tape in the library or on the internet, and explain why this might happen.

Science Project II

2004-12-31T14:17:00.000-08:00

You will need:

a telephone
your lab notebook

Objective: To estimate what fraction of toll-free numbers are already in use, and how close the U.S. is to adding a new toll-free prefix to 1-800, 1-877, and 1-888.

1. At home, compose a set of seven-digit numbers to call. Generate these using the letters on the telephone dial. Examples (using 1-800 as a generic toll-free prefix):

1-800-DAVESAD, 1-800-MYDISCO, 1-800-CLINTON, 1-800-EATBEET, 1-800-4ASHARK, 1-800-SATANRX, 1-800-VINEGAR, etc.

No credit will be given for obscene or offensive texts.

2. You will need at least ten seven-character texts. No credit will be given for texts replicated by another student, so be creative!

3. Call each number. Use each toll-free prefix: this means you will make at least thirty calls. (I.e., for the example above, you will call 1-800-DAVESAD, 1-877-DAVESAD, and 1-888-DAVESAD, for three separate calls from that text.) Use the digit 7 for Q and 9 for Z.

4. Record the response in your lab notebooks (person picked up, voice mail picked up, answering machine picked up, nobody picked up, number-not-in-service recording, busy signal). Also, where applicable, record the name of the persons or businesses who hold the number. If you reach a live human being, you may ask them if they are aware that their phone number spells out a text (if you do so, record their answer), though you are not required to do so.

5. Submit the numbers you called, and the responses you received, to me. I will then: A) compile the numbers into a spreadsheet, with responses. B) Credit will be withdrawn for obscene or duplicated numbers. C) Confirm a random sample of the numbers by calling them myself from home; your grade for the assignment will be set at zero if I am unable to confirm more than three of your phone calls. D) Grades for the first stage of the project will be compiled and assigned. E) The spreadsheet will be distributed to the class for statistical analysis.

6. Answer the following questions in your lab report: A) How many toll-free numbers are possible, given three prefixes followed by seven digits? B) What percentage of toll-free telephone numbers are already assigned? C) What percentage is corporate? Personal? Governmental? Are these percentages more or less than you expected? D) If another prefix were to be added, would it be more likely to serve business and corporate interests than private individuals? E) In what ways were the numbers we selected to call not a random sampling of all possible telephone numbers? (Hint: What digits were used preferentially, or avoided?)

Some answers are located in comments.

Art Project III

2004-12-31T13:53:00.000-08:00

You will need:

at least 25 balloons
specific weather conditions (see below)
four-color package of food coloring
tap water
scissors
clothespins (optional)
clothesline or a tree (optional)

This project may not be available in all parts of the country.

1. Wait for a night when the weather forecast is for 1) the temperature to remain below freezing for at least 36 hours, and 2) no precipitation for at least 36 hours.

2. Hold the mouth of a balloon open, and drop in nine drops of food coloring. The food coloring need not all be from the same bottle (i.e., it is permissible to put in six drops of blue and three drops of yellow, or two drops of red and seven drops of blue, so long as the total number of drops is equal to nine). The colors put into the balloon need not be the same as those put into previous balloons.

3. Set the balloon down carefully on a flat surface, so that the food coloring does not leak back out through the mouth of the balloon.

4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 for all balloons.

5. When all balloons contain food coloring, fill them from the tap with cold water and tie the mouths closed. Do not overfill the balloons.

5b. If you lose control of the balloon and the food coloring spills back out, rinse the inside of the balloon with clean water from the tap, and start over with nine new drops of food coloring.

6. Take the balloons outside. If you have a clothesline and clothespins, you may pin the balloons to the clothesline to hang upside down, but be careful that the balloons are securely fastened if you do so: otherwise, the weight of the water will pull the balloons loose, and they will break on the ground. (You may also lay the balloons on the ground, or a flat surface, leaving at least six inches of space between balloons. A smooth metal surface is preferable though not required.)

7. Check the balloons after four hours. If frozen, proceed to step 8. If they are not frozen, re-check them hourly until they are all frozen. The time necessary will depend on the air temperature, the size of the balloons, and the temperature of any objects or surfaces in contact with the balloons.

8. When all balloons are frozen solid, use the scissors to cut the rubber away from the ice inside the balloons. Discard the rubber.

9. Arrange the balloons as desired. The colors will display best if you place the colored ice "eggs" on something white in color. Snow is ideal, since it will remain cold, though white gravel will also work well in most circumstances.

Math Problem II

2004-12-27T17:26:00.000-08:00

According to information provided by proponents of abstinence-only education, half of the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for the AIDS virus. Proponents of abstinence-only education also teach that condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission during heterosexual intercourse as often as 31% of the time. Teens make up about 10% of the U.S. population at present, and the U.S. population is roughly 295 million.

Assume the following:
1) Presently 50% of gay male teens harbor the HIV virus.
1) HIV-positive gay teens do not self-sort according to HIV status; i.e., intercourse between gay teens is random with respect to HIV infection.
2) Condoms fail during homosexual intercourse as often as during heterosexual intercourse (proponents of abstinence-only sex education probably believe that condoms fail more often during homosexual intercourse, but I haven't been able to find statistics to this effect).
3) Gay teens have intercourse only with other gay teens, and not with any opposite-sex partners, or straight or bisexual male partners, or adults.
4) A gay teen meets a new sexual partner about every four months.
5) A gay teen has sex with a given sexual partner, on average, ten times before moving on to the next.

Question 1: Given these assumptions, what percentage of this group will be HIV-positive in a) four months? b) Eight months? c) A year? SHOW YOUR WORK!

Question 2: Given your results, do these statistics and assumptions seem to be plausible? Why or why not? If the statistics and assumptions are inaccurate, what seems like the most reasonable correction? Defend your answer.

See comments for answers.

Art Project II / Science Project I

2004-12-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

You will need:

1 washing machine
2 dryers
2 new pairs of denim jeans, preferably of different colors
1 plastic garbage bag (13 gallon or more)
2 knitting needles
spindle
1 electronic balance
laundry soap (optional)
towels (optional)
carpet samples (optional)
polyester fiberfill (optional)

Science portion

1. Weigh each pair of jeans separately on the electronic balance and record the weights in your lab notebook.
2. Remove any lint from the lint screens of the dryers.
3. Choose one pair of jeans (the "washed pair") to go in the washing machine. Place the other pair (the "unwashed pair") into the dryer.
4. If you prefer, you may add laundry detergent to the washing machine.
5. Begin the wash cycle.
6. When the wash cycle is completed, remove the washed pair from the washing machine and place it in the unoccupied dryer.
7. Begin the dryer cycle for both dryers.
8. When the cycle is complete, remove lint from the lint screen in each dryer. Weigh the lint on the balance, and record its weight in your lab notebook. Weigh each pair of jeans again on the balance, and record their weights as well.
9. Return the "washed pair" to the washing machine and repeat from step 4, until jeans have been converted to lint, or one has enough data (and lint) to proceed.
10. Prepare a graph of the masses of the lint and the jeans against the number of cycles of the process.
11. Answer the following questions in your lab report:

A) Did washing one pair cause it to turn to lint more rapidly? Why or why not? B) The total weight of lint and jeans at the end of the experiment is less than the original weight of the jeans. Where did the missing mass go? C) [if you did not proceed to the point of complete lint conversion:] Extrapolate from your data: how many cycles would be required to completely convert the jeans to lint?

Art portion

12. Remove the collected lint from the garbage bag and use the spindle to spin it into yarn. You may need to proceed stepwise, spinning lint into thread, and thread into yarn, depending on the strength of the fibers. If the fibers are too weak to spin at all, they may be extended: try running towels or small samples of carpeting through the dryer and collecting the lint (particularly brand-new towels or carpet), or opening up a polyester-fiber-filled pillow and running it through a dryer (on low heat).
13. Knit the yarn into a sweater. If you run out of yarn, you may need to create more from additional pairs of jeans. Keep in mind that the yarn color is dependent on the original color(s) of the jeans, towels, etc. decomposed to create it: unless you intend to knit contrasting stripes or blocks of color, you should use the same colors of jeans to generate new yarn.
14. The resulting sweater will likely be too fragile to wear. If worn, do not machine wash. Dry clean, or hand-wash with a mild detergent and lay flat to dry.

ADVANCED STUDENTS ONLY: Vary the above process to create other knit items (blankets, socks, etc.) from other items of clothing (underwear, socks, blankets, etc.).

Math Problem I

2004-12-16T23:54:00.000-08:00

Mount Pleasant, Iowa had a population of 8,751 people in the year 2000.

22.5% of the population was under the age of 18, and 14.1% of the population was 65 years of age or older.

11.5% of the population under the age of 18, and 9.4% of the population 65 years or older, lived below the poverty line.

1) How many children in Mount Pleasant under the age of 18 lived below the poverty line in the year 2000?

2) How many seniors, 65 years or older, lived below the poverty line in Mount Pleasant in the year 2000?

BONUS QUESTION: Assume that gay children are born to Mount Pleasanters as often as they are anywhere else, and that the birth rates of male and female children are equal. Estimating the rate of homosexuality in Mount Pleasant at one male in fourteen (7.1%), how many of Mount Pleasant's 8,751 residents are gay males, or future gay males, under the age of eighteen, who live below the poverty line?

See comments for answers.

Art Project I

2004-12-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

You will need:
1 large blast furnace (at least 50 feet to a side) capable of softening steel
2 tungsten tongs (at least 33 feet long)
1 tungsten cylinder of diameter 6.5 feet (optional)
2 bulldozers
at least 5 acorns of Quercus shumardii, Q. falcata, Q. pagoda, Q. phellos, Q. muehlenbergii, or Q. virginiana, or some combination of these, depending on location and soil characteristics
1 empty railroad boxcar
future technology
50 gallons of spray-on rustproofing polymer (for best results: use transparent/-lucent polymer)
1 6-by-8-foot rectangle of chicken wire
100-200 years

1. Insert boxcar into blast furnace with tongs (held by bulldozers).
2. When boxcar begins to soften, use tongs (held by bulldozers) to bend the boxcar into a circle. You may find it useful to use a tungsten cylinder as a template.
3. When the boxcar has been reshaped, remove from heat and allow to cool.
4. Once cooled, apply rustproofing polymer according to the manufacturer directions. Multiple coats may be beneficial, though a single coat should suffice if one is attentive to covering all surfaces.
5. Allow polymer to set.
6. Place boxcar in desired location.
7. In the center of the circle formed by the boxcar, plant the acorns. Be sure to leave a few inches between them, to give them a chance to sprout.
8. Form chicken wire into a cylinder, and anchor it in the ground so that it surrounds the acorns. This will protect them against squirrels and other pests.
9. Wait for acorns to sprout. If, after six to twelve months, there are no oak seedlings, remove chicken wire and begin again at step 7.
10. When seedlings are about 3 feet tall, remove chicken wire.
11. Wait 100-200 years.
12. The oak, as it grew, should have lifted the boxcar and grown around and into it. Minor adjustments may be made to the positioning of the boxcar, by using future technology to adjust its location. (CAUTION! Tree branches may be somewhat brittle! Despite rustproofing, the boxcar may also be fragile! Do not attempt to manipulate tree or boxcar without remote-control matter-teleportation technology!)
13. The final version should give the appearance of a boxcar which has been thrown into a tree and bent into its curved position. If results are unsatisfactory, repeat from step 1.